Cursed
by QueenKingrid
Summary: Blair is starting to believe that she is cursed! And who knows she just might be!


Cursed

A Gossip Girl Fiction Based on the song Cursed by Vivian Green

I guess it could be seen as an AU Chuck and Blair. It takes place anytime after episode 2:20 when Blair has decided to move on without Chuck and to build a new relationship with Nate.

I own nothing! I just love the show and sometimes I feel compelled to write!

Please Review!

_I'm cursed with loving you baby. It hurts because you'll never know it. I was prepared to hopelessly love you but you aren't thinking about me and that is the torture I go through. _

Blair sat at the perfect restaurant with the perfect interior decorations, sharing a perfect meal with her perfect boyfriend Nathanial Archibald. She was happy! (At least that's what she tried to convince herself) Nate was perfect, and everything was right in the world. So why wasn't she happy! What was wrong with her she asked herself as she wondered why she would want more?

So what, she didn't get Yale, She didn't get Chuck (when she had finally found the guts to tell Chuck that she'd loved him he threw her love away).

Everything was perfect and if she had to choose someone to love it would be Nathanial Archibald.

After all she had been planning a shared life with him practically her entire life (since he'd smiled at her the first day of kindergarten. She'd wanted him to be her Prince Charming and for a while he was)

Life was perfect she told herself as she smiled at Nate once more. She was finally getting what she wanted. (But then again she suppose that's was why people said be careful what you wished for cause you just might get it.) She had Nate and she supposed that he was great but he wasn't who she really wanted and he wasn't who she really needed. And, he wasn't who she longed for when she laid alone in her bed at night. His hands weren't the hands that she could still feel faintly feathering her body.

Nate didn't make her feel all warm and tingly and fuzzy all at the same time.

Nate's voice wasn't right. (It wasn't as seductive and raspy as Chucks)

Nate's hair wasn't the right color (it was too light) and his touch; his touch didn't give her Goosebumps and make her want to jump out of her own skin and into his.

And when she had sex with Nate she didn't feel his spirit deep inside of her the way she did when she and Chuck made love. With Nate she didn't really feel anything (not emotionally at least because it was always just sex)

Blair bit her lip and forced her eyes to focus on her boyfriend.

She needed to stop obsessing she told herself because the more she thought about Chuck the sicker she felt! This was getting out of hand. This love was torment!

And, after all she had made the decision to go back o Nate hadn't she?

She hoped she could find a cure to this nauseous ailment soon cause it was taking over her very existence. She was cursed. Why did she have to be the one to fall for a self absorbed arrogant ass?

She nervously ran her hands through her hair and glanced towards the entrance. And, there he was. Chuck Bass.

He was dressed in a light purple shirt that clung to him just the right way and her breath hitched and got caught in her throat when he walked passed her and found a seat at the bar right across from them seemingly having not even noticing her presence.

" This is great" she said out loud and Nate place his fork down on his plate and reached across the table to grab her hand that had been twisting and pulling on the perfect table cloth.

"It is!" he agreed and he smiled at her, his whole face lighting up eliminating his bright blue eyes. (His eyes were too light, the wrong color) was the thought that came to mind and she pulled her hand away gentility and place it in her lap before using her other hand to grab her glass of water so that she could take a sip in an attempt to calm down and ease the nausea that had clutched at her stomach.

She found her eyes once again on Chuck. He was sipping his drink and reading a book. She smiled and wondered what in the hell was up with that.

He leaned back into the dark wood of the stool and his eyes left the pages of his novel and caught hers

Blair quickly looked away and she forced herself to consume another sip of water.

But, just minutes later Blair found her eyes once again on Chuck.

He was different somehow and she couldn't quite figure him out. He was calmer, more resigned and maturity was practically flying off of him. She smiled a sad smile to herself as she wondered if maybe the lost of the only parent he had left was the reason for the drastic change. She wasn't sure but, whatever it was it had caused him to finally become a man.

When she looked at Chuck she no longer saw Chuck but instead Charles( someone who in her eyes was a completely different person) she didn't see the boy she'd know practically her whole life and it was almost painful (the realization) he'd grown up since they last been together and she'd missed it.

She felt her eyes filling with salty water. It was so unfair, she had always know him better than the back of her own hand, and now it was like he was miles away from her, so disconnected when he was sitting so close only a few steps away.

Blair found herself once again thinking about the day of his father's funeral. She often relived that day, or that particular moment when she'd declared her love to him.

That moment in time was stuck in her head and it often replayed itself whenever she was idle for too long or whenever she saw him. He'd been upset and she'd been trying to comfort him and she'd blurted it out; 8 letter 3 words .I Love you.

At the time she had wanted nothing more but to make him stay or at least for him to take her with him wherever it was he was going. But, instead he'd all but spit the sacred words back in her face as he slapped her with the "that's too bad" line before getting into his limo and speeding off.

And she would often times find her mind remembering the tear that spilled from her eyes without permission, and she could still feel the moisture on the gloved hand that she'd used to reach up and wipe it away . And, she could still feel the air blowing across her skin as she was left in a moment stuck wondering what she should do next and he had not even seemed to care.

She'd tried again to be with him after he'd come back from wherever it was he'd been and at the time she had just wanted to be his shoulder to lean on.

She'd wanted to be the person who was there for him when no one else was and he'd messed that up too. He just couldn't give her the chance to be there because he was too busy having mindless sex with random girls and polluting his body with drugs. And so here she was cursed to be in love with Chuck Bass.

She shook her head to clear her mind. She did not need this! Falling back into the Chuck Bass loop was never going to lead her down a happy road she'd made a choice to move on with Nate and she was determined to make it work.

So, she forced her eyes away from his still figure and focused them on her boyfriend once more.

So what, she didn't love Nate but she could live with that because if being with Nate meant living without the pain that Chuck caused she'd be content.

Maybe being with Nate was not love but what was love anyway? As Far as she could tell it was constant heart shredding pain! Maybe she didn't need love to be happy because when you were cursed like she was maybe you should just be happy to be alive!

"Thanks" she said softly as she forced a smile onto her face. "Thanks Nate! I love this and I really lo….Thanks" she whispered and Nate leaned over the table and softly kissed her lips.

_You were my love, you were my first and now this love is just a curse! I'm cursed with loving you baby. It hurts because you will never know. I was prepared to hopelessly love you but you aren't thinking about me and that is the torture I go through. (Vivian Green, Cursed)_

_The End!_

I just want to say Thanks in advance to whoever reads this. Please review and let me know what you think!

Ingridmarie


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